Letters from Buldang

Who needs Letters from Iwo Jima when you’ve got these to read? Yesterday I told my advanced class they had to write a letter to a friend about something new they have gotten recently, clothes, game, toy, etc… These are a couple of the best. All grammar and spelling mistakes have been preserved for the purpose of hilarity:

Letter 1

Dear Michine,

Hi I have a knife. It’s very dengerous. That’s have use to cut a beef stake. Um… It’s very delicious and knife is I think useful because cut the stake, cut the cheese, ham, sausage, kimbob. If I am a man, knife is very useful. See you,

Your friend
Butch

Letter 2

To Danny

Hello I’m a Johnson. My mom give me a corpse. It was a very good experience. I’m play with a corpse. Because I’m a very boring. It was very fun. The corpse was Myeong Bak’s corpse. I tread the corpse, and I cut the corpse. It was very fun! Good bye!

From Johnson

Letter 3 (Extra info, many kids said they had nothing new, so I told them to lie)

It’s a lie: I got a new book. It’s very so so.

It’s a lie: I hate you. You are very yark.

It’s real: I got a new phone game. It’s very bored.

It’s lie: I have a new cell. It’s very useful.

It’s real: I have a new clothes. It’s very warm.

It’s lie: I watch new reflection. It’s very fun.

Its lie: I taste new food. It’s very delicious.

Jong Rock

Letter 4

Dear Jinsan

My frend had baught dog. My frend dog is very cute. My frend dog name is NaNa. But NaNa is crazy. Because NaNa is love the cat. The cat is no name. And cat is thief cat. And NaNa is had a very important thing. This is a kill the baby chicken. I’m very sad. ㅠㅠ (Korean sad face).

Nick by

Letter 5

Dear Ssela (Hamster’s name)

Hello~! You are so cute! (But not better than my hamsters~) But you are not mine. You are my friend’s hamster. So I sad. But I have a hamsters. HaHaHa~! Do you know my hamsters? If you don’t know, I’ll bring my hamster to show you my hamster. Then you like them! Bye~ See you next time~

-Jenny~

And finally, my personal favorite:

Letter 6

Dear Jonsen,

Hello, I’m Danny. I met you before 2 years. That time, we felt so awkward. But now, we are so friendly. So we killed people together. But we go to the hell. So we killed hell’s people. But we go the heaven. So we killed heaven’s people. So we became god. So earth is our nation.

Talk about a laugh riot. Anyway, this last thing wasn’t a letter, but an interesting moment from yesterday.

Tony (In Korean) My arm hurts.
Me: Your arm hurts? Why?
Steve (In Korean): My heart hurts.
Me: Your mom hurts? You hurt your mom? (In Korean, “heart” sounds dangerously close to “mom”.)
Tony: No, “heart”.
Me: Oh, your heart hurts?
Steve: Yes.
Me (Clasping hands over heart and batting eyelashes): Because of a girl?
Steve and Tony: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

Korean Word of the Day:

주당 – ju-dang – When you look up ju-dang in your phone dictionary, the result is: a drinker; a bacchant, a votary of Bacchus. Now, that kind of sounds like an alcoholic. However, ju-dang is far from an insult or something with a negative connotation. Quite the contrary. It’s actually a compliment. Ju-dangs are people that have an adept skill for drinking. Not only do they drink in large quanities, but they don’t let it go to their head. My Korean friends all consider me a ju-dang.

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One Response to “Letters from Buldang”

  1. Love the letters. Too funny.

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