Coming to America Soon…

I’ve been on a bit of a roller coaster the past couple days. I recently posted that I believed I’d have no other choice than to go home after my contract. It sounds strange, but initially, I was very unhappy about that. It honestly felt harder coming to terms with leaving Korea than it was leaving America. Much harder. It all kind of boiled down to an existential crisis. It sounds a little stupid to put it like that, but it’s true. The fact that I have a “decent” job, in the sense that I get good pay, is a huge factor. Here, I’ve got money, paying back loans, traveling, having fun, learning a language, having a lot of new experiences. Going back home, I’d be just another college graduate that can’t find a job. It would be a huge step backwards.

I’m generally a laid back person. I used to be more pessimistic and cynical than I am now, particularly in high school. I also have small, intense periods of worrisomeness that I’ve inherited from my mother. So, when I first started really accepting the fact that I’d be going home, I took it pretty hard. There were maybe two nights in a row I was just super depressed about it. Yesterday I had lunch with an ex-co-worker, and I was kind of talking about it with her. It really helped. Just thinking out loud helped me work through it. I feel a lot better about it now. Going into Saturday, I kind of had the worst case scenarios going through my head. I was afraid I’d go back to America and something bad would happen and I could never make it back to Korea. Silly, I know. Even though I knew objectively I was being crazy, it didn’t make getting it over it any easier.

Then, when I was talking with her, I just worked it out. I still have enough time to find a job that would start in mid-late April or early May. If I get a job before I leave, then I’d only be back for a couple weeks while I got my visa processed, since I’ve already got all the necessary and time consuming documents ready. I’d get a nice little “vacation” at home, be able to see friends and all that good shit. Even if I leave Korea without a job lined up, I’ve got experience, which is really helpful in finding a job. Most jobs start in March/September, so maybe there wouldn’t be as many jobs at the time I go home, but it doesn’t mean there aren’t any. Worst case scenario, I end up staying until August or September. While that’s much longer than I want to be back in America, I’m still pretty comfortable with that. I remember how fun Columbus is in the summer, so I wouldn’t totally be upset about staying a couple more months than I want to.

The only thing that’s left to come to terms with is that in all probability I won’t be coming back to Cheonan. That’s perhaps the worst and hardest to overcome. It’s hard to really explain, but I’ve just become really personally invested in this city. I spent a lot of time and energy making this city my home, so leaving it is hard. It’s kind of strange, because I’ve never been a “homesick” or particularly sentimental person when it came to location. I guess being in a foreign country kind of makes it different. In reality, when it comes down to it, as long as the city is bigger then Cheonan, it’d probably be a good move. As far as friends in Cheonan, traveling in Korea is extremely easy. I can always visit on weekends, or whatever. Things like study groups and hapkido classes are always available, especially in the bigger cities, it’s just a matter of finding them. The foreign and Koreans interested in meeting foreigner scene would be better in big cities. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad, but still. I guess it’s like ripping off a band-aid. I don’t really want to do it, but I have to, and it’s probably for the best, so I gotta just deal with it.

So, long story short, TL;DR, etc… I should be coming back to America sometime around March 18th or 19th. Keep your eyes out.

In other news, the weather has been insane here lately. It snows literally every day. Not necessarily a lot, but every day there’s snow. Apparently this is not normal for Korea. It’s also cold as balls. Yesterday, my friend told me it was supposed to be the coldest day in Korea all year. It got down to -20 C, which is around 0 F. Shit was cold. I drove my scooter to meet her, but it was dark when we split up and it was so cold my bike wouldn’t start. I looked really cool riding the bus with a motorcycle helmet. It’s going to be awhile before I can drive it again, I think. It’s snowing like a motherfucker right now. Roads are a mess.

Uh, well, there’s not really much else to say.

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3 Responses to “Coming to America Soon…”

  1. Hey Colin,

    It’s great that you have it all figured out. I too have been trying to figure out things as well, though I have seven months left to think and decide. But at least you still have two months left in a place you love so much!

  2. Would be great to see you if you end up here longer than you think. 🙂 I hope we can arrange for a game of pool somewhere.

  3. Yo man, hoping the best case scenario works out for you. I’m stoked on how you have made Cheonan your new home! Good luck ma man!

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